The guest list shapes almost everything else: your venue, your budget, how much food to order. It can also be the most emotional part of planning, because it’s about people. This guide helps you write a list you both feel good about, keep the right details for each guest, and collect RSVPs without spending your evenings chasing replies.
Building your guest list
Start with a number, not names
Your venue capacity and your budget give you a rough ceiling. Venue and catering are usually priced per head, so it’s worth agreeing on a number first (our wedding budget guide shows how) and then filling it.
Write it in rings
A simple way to sort names without awkward debates is to think in circles:
- The people you can’t imagine the day without. Immediate whānau and closest friends.
- The people you’d really love there. Wider family, good friends, people you see often.
- The people it would be nice to include. Colleagues, friends of your parents, old friends you’ve drifted from.
Fill from the inside out until you reach your number. If you’re short on space, the outer ring is where you make cuts, and nobody has to see the list but you.
Decide on plus-ones and children early
Pick a simple rule and use it for everyone. For example, partners in long-term relationships are invited, or children of close whānau only. Clear rules are kinder than case-by-case decisions, and easier to explain.
Agree on sides fairly
Some couples split the list evenly; others split it by who has the bigger family. If parents are contributing, have an honest talk about how many guests they’d like to invite. Larger whānau are a gift, and it helps to plan for them early rather than squeeze them in late.
A wedding guest list template
Whether you use a spreadsheet, a notebook or an app, these are the columns worth keeping for each invitation:
| Column | Why it helps |
|---|---|
| Name | Write it the way it should appear on the invitation. |
| Side | Keeps the list balanced and helps your MC with introductions. |
| Relationship | Cousin, uni friend, workmate. Useful when the list gets long. |
| Party size | How many people the invitation covers, including partners and children. |
| Contact | Email or mobile, so you can send invitations and updates. |
| RSVP | Not sent, waiting, coming or can’t make it. |
| Dietary needs | Allergies, vegetarian, vegan, halal and so on, ready for your caterer. |
When to send invitations and set your RSVP deadline
- Save-the-dates: 9 to 12 months before, especially if guests are travelling from overseas or another island.
- Invitations: 8 to 12 weeks before the day, so guests have at least a month to reply.
- RSVP deadline: work back from when your venue or caterer needs final numbers, then add a week or two to follow up late replies. That often lands around 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.
These dates slot neatly into a wider plan. Our NZ wedding checklist shows where they sit alongside everything else.
Collecting RSVPs online
Printed reply cards are lovely, but they’re slow, and dietary notes often get lost. An online RSVP makes replying easy for guests and keeps the answers tidy for you. A good RSVP form:
- Doesn’t ask guests to create an account. Your nana shouldn’t need a password.
- Knows who’s invited. If an invitation covers two people, the form should let them reply for two, not five.
- Asks for dietary needs at the same time, so you don’t have to follow up.
- Lets guests change their reply if their plans change.
- Sends a confirmation, so guests know their reply arrived.
It also helps to pair the RSVP with a simple wedding website where guests can find the time, the place, travel tips and where to stay. That answers most questions before they’re asked.
Following up late replies, kindly
Some guests will miss the deadline. It’s rarely personal. A short, warm message a few days after the deadline is usually all it takes: “Kia ora! We’re confirming numbers with our caterer this week. Are you able to let us know if you can make it?” A text or WhatsApp message with their RSVP link works better than an email for most people.
Using your list on the day
Your final guest list feeds the rest of the day: confirmed numbers for the caterer, dietary notes for the kitchen and names for your MC. Once it’s settled, it’s a good time to finish your wedding run sheet.
Common questions
When should the RSVP deadline be for a wedding?
Work backwards from the date your venue or caterer needs final numbers, then add a week or two for chasing late replies. For many weddings that puts the RSVP deadline about 4 to 6 weeks before the day. Send invitations 8 to 12 weeks out, or earlier for guests who need to travel, so everyone has at least a month to reply.
What should a wedding guest list template include?
At minimum: each guest’s name, which side they’re from, how they’re connected to you, how many people the invitation covers, contact details, RSVP status and any dietary needs. That’s enough to send invitations, give your caterer accurate numbers and answer most questions on the day.
Can we make a wedding RSVP website for free?
Yes. With wed.kiwi, a free wedding-planning web app made in Aotearoa, you can publish a wedding page with your story, the details of the day, travel and stay, FAQs and an RSVP form. Guests reply online without creating an account, and their answers go straight into your guest list.
How do we handle plus-ones?
Pick a simple rule and apply it to everyone, for example plus-ones for guests in a long-term relationship, or for anyone who won’t know other guests. Then make the number clear on each invitation, so guests know exactly who’s invited.
More planning guides
- Planning a wedding budget in New Zealand What NZ couples really spend, how to pick your number, a category-by-category budget template, and how to keep deposits and due dates under control.
- Your wedding planning checklist for New Zealand A month-by-month planning timeline, the NZ marriage licence explained, and what to do in the final week. Works for 18 months or six.
- How to write a wedding run sheet What goes in a run sheet, an example wedding day timeline you can adapt, and what your vendors and MC need from you.
How wed.kiwi helps
wed.kiwi is a free wedding-planning web app made in Aotearoa. Your guest list and RSVPs live in the same place, so replies update your list without any copying across.
- Add guests one by one or paste in a list, note each guest’s side, relationship and party size, and search to find anyone quickly.
- Guests RSVP online with no account, tell you their dietary needs, reply for their party, and can change their reply later. They get a confirmation email too.
- Every guest has a personal RSVP link you can copy and send by text or WhatsApp.
- Send save-the-dates, invitations and updates by email with personal RSVP links, or use shareable links, and see which have been delivered and opened.
- Publish a free wedding page with your story, the day, RSVP, travel and stay, and FAQs.
The essentials are free. Start your guest list in wed.kiwi or browse the other planning guides.